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Lose 40 Pounds in 80 Days

As my doc prescribed, I went to the dog food counter of the corner grocery store. First thing I saw was the above sign.

It hit me hard.

Here was a reputable company telling me not to toss my dog scraps of the very food I ate!

The food was good enough for Fatty, but it wasn't good enough for his dog.

How come?

I began to think a little. About how I always looked on the sides of the cans and boxes of dog food to find out what was in them, to make sure my dog's food was scientifically balanced.


I was a cautious buyer - when it came to dog food. I agreed with Strongheart - when it came to Josef.

As a matter of fact, when I purchased "horse and mule" feed for Tar Baby, my riding mare, I always looked at the tag on the side that food companies are careful to put there. I read those tags with as much loving care as I lavished on one of my own 36-inch menus, and a lot more thoughtfully.

Seemed like I was more particular about my dog's and horse's health than my own!



I TAKE LESS CARE OF MYSELF

I'd spend 20 minutes reading the labels on the sides of food for my dog, and then proceed to the rest of the store -and here is how I'd buy food for myself:

"How much is that?" I'd asked, pointing to something, and if the price was low, I'd buy.

"Gimme two of these... What's that new stuff? Delicious, eh? Then gimme a can... Think I'll try some of this, whatever it is... Four of these, please."

All I knew was, they tasted good.

What's in 'em? Who cares? They're not for Josef or Tar Baby, they're just for me!

So I got fat and bulky, and my dog and horse copped blue ribbons!



ME AND PORKY EAT ALIKE

Now, I didn't need the Strongheart people to tell me not to feed my dog table scraps. I knew better than that. But I did give them to Porky, my pig.

So suddenly it dawned on me that Porky and I ate the same foods.

The same foods that Porky and I gobbled up weren't good enough for our aristocratic animal friends with the ribbons.

They weren't balanced enough. Too much starch and sugar. Not enough protein.

Why, I was getting less vitamins than my dog! Who was leading a dog's life around here, anyway?

His foods were balanced and fortified. Mine were made to taste good. His were aimed at good health, mine were aimed at my taste buds.

It was all right to fatten me - but not the dog!

"Don't you dare give that dog that starchy food!" my wife would yell, after she'd just got through serving it to me!

No wonder dogs don't have gallstones or diabetes, heart failure or gout!

I began to wonder if that was why Porky grunted so much!



MY REPORTER INSTINCTS COME OUT

I'm a former reporter. Worked on the Rochester Times-Union, Albany Times-Union, Los Angeles Herald, Baltimore News,

I was always amazed at the way a good editor could take a mess of news and leave in the good and edit out the bad, all at a glance.

So I decided to do just that with foods.

I'd edit my foods!

I'd find out which were slenderizing, which fattening, and edit them scientifically.

Porky might not like this, but maybe now my dog could eat an occasional table scrap without endangering his blue ribbons.

Actually I'd eat more - because I'd edit more.

I'd study calorie charts. Vitamin charts. I'd memorize the main foods a human eats.

I'd eat like a horse and look like a Doberman.


Next: A Better Way To Lose Weight

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