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Lose 40 Pounds in 80 Days

ONE FOR HENRY THE EIGHTH

It's startling the things you learn about any subject when you really take it seriously and "learn up" on it.

For example:

Your double chin has enough stored-up energy in the form of fat to keep you walking two days without food.

That "spare tire" around your tummy might help you get from Albany to New York.

Moving around fast burns up more calories than moving slow-which is the trouble with us fatties. The fatter we get, the slower we move-except when the dinner bell rings.

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Skinny is jumping around all the time like a Mexican jumping bean. No wonder he's thin. He moves fast, is always on the alert, thinks all the time, sleeps little, burns up energy minute after minute.

No wonder he says, "I eat like a horse, yet look at me-a human scarecrow!"

He also works like a horse!

CAUSES OF FAT BOYS

Nothing but food causes fat, said my Marine Corps doctor. I was beginning to like the fellow again. In fact, by now I was even thinking less black thoughts of that shirt store salesman, manicure and all. Those two fellows had done me the greatest favor of my life.

But what makes us eat too much food?

Professional diet expert and psychologists say that boredom often causes people to overeat.

The housewife with nothing to do nibbles as she reads a book. She goes to the soda fountain out of sheer boredom and eats just to be doing something.

Traveling salesmen get bored. Go into bars. Drink just to be having something to do. And their left hand dabbles in the peanut and potato chip bowls just so it'll have something to do. And as it says in my Poor Elmer's Almanac.

Keep your Left hand in your pocket
So your weight won't skyward rocket!

Lots of traveling salesmen also have coffee with cream and sugar several times a day just to have something to do. Each such coffee-100 calories!

Lonesome people go into bars, into restaurants, into soda fountains, just to be near people and eat. If they were busy with something, their minds would be off food.

"Insecurity" is the latest theory of why some people put on weight. They eat because they feel insecure about life, their jobs, their families, their husbands or wives.

As a child we rushed to our mother's breast at the first sign of insecurity or fright.

As we grow up this same instinctive running to food when we feel insecure about something continues-and we gobble food we wouldn't otherwise want.

Maybe that's why Henry the Eighth was a fatty. What man could feel secure with half a dozen wives?

FACTS AND FOOLISH FOIBLES

Hot breads, I learned, fatten you no faster than cold bread. It's the quantity and the content that fatten you.

Rye, whole wheat and other such breads are often more fattening than white bread, which may lack something rye and whole wheat have and therefore be less fattening.

Vitamins vary in the same vegetables. Those grown in summer sunshine have more vitamins than those grown in winter. Some soils give more minerals to foods than others.

The darker the coloring of a vegetable the more vitamins it has.

You'll lose weight in a massage parlor IF you have the massage on your lunch hour instead of eating! Soda used in highballs won't fatten you, unless it is "sweet soda."

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Water won't make you fat unless you are "salt-logged." The doctors call this puffiness in fat people "edema."

Mixing foods doesn't matter much. You can eat starches with proteins; you can mix milk and pickles; strawberries with kraut. The stomach doesn't know the difference. It doesn't know "words," it just knows how to add.

It's all in the mind!

P.S.-I'm crowding 190 now!

IT ISN'T FATE THAT PUTS ON WEIGHT!




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